Fatherhood is a high calling—one that comes with joys, responsibilities, and moments of great impact. But as Dr. Allan Meyer reveals in his compelling talk, there is a dangerous moment in fathering that many men encounter without realising the weight of it. This moment can shape a child’s confidence, future, and even relationship with God.
What Is the Essential Nature of Fatherhood?
A father is more than just a provider or disciplinarian. He is a life-giver, a teacher, a guide, and most importantly, an affirmer. A father’s voice carries weight, and the words he speaks—or fails to speak—can either build up or break down a child’s self-worth.
Dr. Meyer shares his personal journey, reflecting on his relationship with his father. While his dad was a solid provider and a man of admirable qualities, something was missing: affirmation. He never heard his father say, "Allan, I love you." That absence left a gap—a void that required healing.
The Dangerous Moment: Balancing Discipline and Affirmation in Fatherhood
Every father is called to discipline and correct, but how that discipline is received depends largely on whether affirmation has been present. When correction comes without the foundation of love and encouragement, it can be misinterpreted as rejection or punishment.
This is where many fathers unknowingly wound their children. Instead of discipline being seen as loving guidance, it is perceived as disapproval, or worse, proof of failure. Dr. Meyer warns that if correction is not done with care, instead of healing and strengthening, it can lead to deep emotional wounds, resentment, and a lifelong struggle for approval.
"If discipline and correction is not done right, instead of the hoped-for outcome, things get put out of joint rather than healed. This is the dangerous moment."
Breaking the Cycle
Many fathers today carry their own wounds from their childhood. They may not have received affirmation from their own fathers, and so they struggle to give it. Generational patterns of emotional distance, silence, or even explosive anger can continue unchecked unless we make a conscious choice to break the cycle.
Dr. Meyer found healing and affirmation through spiritual father figures—mentors who spoke life into him. But he also had to face the challenge of receiving correction without shutting down. He had to learn to separate coaching from rejection, to allow discipline to shape him rather than wound him.
A Call to Fathers and Children
For fathers, the challenge is clear: affirm your children. Speak words of encouragement. Tell them you love them. Let them know they are capable, valuable, and seen. And when discipline is necessary, ensure that it is framed in a way that builds rather than tears down.
For children—young and grown—the call is to forgive where affirmation is lacking. Recognising that our earthly fathers may have done the best they knew how, we are invited to look beyond them to our Heavenly Father, the Everlasting Father, who affirms us completely.
Watch the Full Talk and Join the Conversation
This message is too important to miss. Dr. Allan Meyer shares profound insights that every father and child needs to hear. If you’ve ever struggled with feeling unseen or want to be a better father, this talk will challenge and encourage you.
👉 Watch the full talk now and share your thoughts. Have you experienced this dangerous moment in fathering? How can we build stronger, more affirming relationships? Join the conversation with Dr. Meyer and others who are seeking to grow in this vital area.
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