Dr Allan Meyer
As most of you will be aware, I am the author of the Valiant Man program, a course designed to fortify the moral and spiritual integrity of men living in the pressure-cooker of a highly sexualised culture. Since 2005 this course has engaged more than 200,000 men in Australia, New Zealand, and other places around the globe. It was the product of my doctoral studies with Denver Seminary, and the fruit of a concern I have had for men's discipleship all my ministry life.
The pilot program was conducted at Careforce Church, Mt Evelyn, in 2004 with 130 men, mainly from our congregation. While the focus of the course was to address the discipleship needs of adult men, the youngest participants in that pilot program were between the ages of 14 and 17. They were sons of fathers who attended the course. We gave them two of our best facilitators and kept them in their own group. They reported at the end of the course that it had been the most significant character-developing experience of their lives to that date.
Over the years I have been asked from time to time if I might adapt elements of the course in a form that would be suitable for boys. There has been a rising tide of concern over the need to address some of the issues faced by boys growing up in a pornified culture dominated by the smartphone. In 2019, I had an experience that provoked me to begin that journey.
I was invited to be part of a week-long series of public meetings in Toowoomba, focussed on addressing the issue of pornography at a city-wide level. During that week I presented an hour-long talk to six different groups of High School boys, an experience that would be a first for me and them. While the classroom is familiar territory for me, having been a High School teacher for nine years, I had no idea what kind of reception I might receive. Would they be embarrassed to have someone speak honestly and transparently about issues relating to sex and pornography? Would they snigger and smirk as they secretly muttered snide comments to one another? Would they treat the experience as a joke?
In fact they were sober, attentive, and fully engaged. They asked serious questions and gave me a look into the challenging reality of their world. They needed someone to break the silence. They needed someone to explain the entangling thrall which porn had become in their student world. They needed a compass, they needed a coach, and they were ready to listen.
There was a time when porn and sexualised media were pretty much non-existent in the life of the average youngster. That’s the world I grew up in. The world these young men are growing up in is the world of the smartphone, a device that has brought potential encounters with porn to school at every recess. It has put the kind of sexualised material in the pockets of children that many of their mothers and fathers have never seen in their lives. It has brought defiling sexual encounters to places like the school playground and the school bus. One school known to our team had found it necessary to purchase a school bus for use by girls only, with boys creating an unsafe environment for girls who were being harassed with pornographic pics, videos and sexualised conversation.
At the end of one of my sessions a 12-year-old boy stayed behind to talk. He asked me, “Is it too late for me?” What a question from a 12-year-old. He knew he was being defiled, he knew something dangerous and alien was growing in his psyche. He was troubled over the kind of a young man he was becoming. We talked about a way forward. It wasn’t too late yet, but even at the age of 12, he was being moulded by porn into the kind of man who would find manhood difficult and dangerous, and any woman becoming his partner in later years would find her life difficult and dangerous as well. He was only 12 years old, but he already needed significant help. He needed to be shown how to become a Young Valiant Man.
It wasn’t the only feedback from that week of encounter. I received a letter from a parent via one of the schools at which I had spoken, part of which reads as follows: (I’ve changed his name to Tim)
“I just wanted to let you know that Tim gave a raving review about the session with Dr Allan Meyer yesterday! When I picked him up after Volleyball training yesterday afternoon he shared very passionately about what Dr Meyer had to say. He also mentioned how thankful to God he was for the answer to his prayers for practical advice on how to work through the issues that were discussed, in particular how, to combat temptation and the challenge of what type of man do you want to be.
After we’d been sitting in the school parking lot for over half an hour it was getting late, so I had to let him know that we needed to head home as we had prior commitments to get to, and he was driving! When we arrived home, he felt so compelled to share the revelations he’d received with his dad, that he got out of the car, left all his gear, the car doors open, and went and found his Dad and proceeded to tell him how amazing the session was! They spoke at length, and it was so impactful for both his father and myself, to not only hear Tim recount the content of Dr Meyer’s message, but more importantly for us, the insight that he personally gained from it!
This is such a crucial time for our son, as it is for many other young men within our school community, and his Dad and I cannot express the gratitude to those of you who take the time, and the effort, to arrange such important, relevant and impacting education for our young men and women. We are seeing first hand the fruit of your efforts outworking in Tim. We are so very thankful for the community that God has placed us in and words often fail me in expressing the magnitude of the gift that this is to my family! THANK YOU!!
It's time to break the silence. Over the coming months, I’d like to share some of the insights that will be unpacked in a new discipleship course for boys called Young Valiant Man. If young men are going to develop into the kind of adults capable of a life-long loving relationship with a women they are going to need help. Our sexualised culture has become a dangerous and toxic environment for young men, and thus for the future generation of young women and children whose lives will be impacted by the quality of their character. It is my hope that every church in this nation and beyond will take the opportunity to give the boys under their care the discipleship they need to build and fortify the kind of Christ-like manhood that every young woman deserves to encounter.
Want to help? The development of the necessary video and printed material is currently underway. We would greatly appreciate your help in bringing project to completion.
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